life is lovely.

everything has been happening to fast these days.
i haven't been writing as much as i would have liked.
i've been thinking about it...i just haven't gone through with it.

big things have happened:
i got him.
i intend to keep him for as long as i possibly can/want.
i graduated high school.
i decided to hold on my college plans for a year.
i decided technical school couldn't possibly be as horrible as i imagine and i should seriously look into it.
i got a cat.
named her magdelyn.
i moved house.
lost most of my friends.
got closer to my sister.
decided my family isn't as bad as i've made them out to be.
learned i can't control everything and i have to try to be okay with that.
obsessions are always going to be a vice of mine and i desperately need to find a healthier way to allow them.
i can't fix my problems overnight and patience is something beautiful.
my temper is something i can't afford to let control me.
i understand now that their questions aren't always intended to hurt me.
i'm grateful for most everything i've done or been through.
i'm starting to become comfortable with it.
even if my faith waivers at times.
i love it.

be careful what you wish for.

cause you just might get it.

the waiting game

"i hate this part right here."

saturday may 16 2009
at roughly 5.00 p.m.
i got what i wanted



you're my perfect little punching bag

more than me

I be fully educated
Not the one to play with
And i find that some of y'all hate it
But you wanna know baby
Who am i?
I be fully educated
Not the one to play with
And i find that some of y'all hate it
But you wanna know baby
Who am i?

thisisnottom.com is ruining my life.

photo taken 3-4 years ago.
it's still funny.

thank you thrift store.

5.29.09
it's almost over.

i want:
sunny days
cloudy nights
candid photos
big flowers
hours of outdoors
loud music
bubbles
grape juice
dancing
long hair
a secure future
a sketchbook with zero blank pages
a solid vegetarian diet

i want the old me back.
and i've almost got it.

"There ought,
I thought, to be a ritual
for being born twice -
patched, retreaded
and approved for the road."

I have the biggest crush ever.
Clearly, I was born in the wrong time.

I found God
On the corner of First and Amistad
Where the west
Was all but won
All alone
Smoking his last cigarette
I said, "Where you been?"




Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me

*

i wish my name were violet.

008

"Vindicated
I am selfish, I am wrong
I am right, I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am Flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now
The things you swore you saw yourself"

to do:

-finish senior project
-learn to drive
-get tattoo
-take sat
-get accepted to college
-graduate
-buy a car
-fifty books by 2010.

yikes.

+/-

him:

pro-
-funny.
-sweet.
-brilliant.
-super tall.
-he stays behind for me.
-he helps me with math.
-he tries to talk about art.
-huge nerd.
-shy.



con-
-he can't think abstractly.
-practical/logical to a fault.
-shy.

i know what i want.
i think, maybe.

i did somethings but that's the old me.

do you ever watch crowds of people and imagine only the skeletons?
CREEPER.